G8 summit: Pundita has more advice for President Putin

Well, it's that time of year again. I see things are off to a rollicking start:

Bush snubs Putin by meeting opposition groups first According to the (London) Times Online, "President Bush reinforced his concerns about his Russian counterpart's record on democracy today when he went straight to meetings with local activists on his arrival in St Petersburg for this weekend's G8 summit."

So now the only suspense about this year's G8 meeting is whether:

> President Bush's speechwriters will give into temptation and insert nasty comments about Russia's government into his speech at the summit, and

> The arrival of the lead US trade negotiator in St. Petersburg signals that the USA is finally withdrawing objections to Russia's entry to WTO.

We might even see a breakthrough announcement at the summit about Russia's bid to enter WTO. That's provided President Putin heeds Pundita's earlier advice to speak in Chinese-accented Pidgin English while in the presence of American journalists, President Bush and other American statespeople.

For readers who can't quite aurally visualize -- I don't do this well without a couple beers in me but it goes something like, "We try hard to make like America wish for WTO. We work hard make you proud and make you a lot of money."

None of the intellectual crap that Putin and his ministers tend to haul out. (E.g., "Do you understand you're practicing a double standard with our entry requirements?")

And no more Russian folk sayings. The one Putin let fly about an eating wolf not listening is silly. How many wolves has Vice President Cheney or anyone in Washington for that matter actually met with in the wilds? So how would they understand the metaphor?

Just suck it up and try to sound as Chinese as possible so we can finally see an end to the charade about WTO requirements for Russia.

I interject that I want no more letters expressing irritation at Pundita for insulting the Chinese people. I'm not insulting them; I'm paying tribute to shrewdness.

Chinese who speak Oxfordian English have learned to revert to Pidgin while in negotiations with the US Department of State and answering US congressionals who are angry about China's record on human rights.

Why do Chinese with excellent English do such a thing? Because they've learned to communicate in the results-oriented style so dear to the hearts of US diplomats and elected representatives.

Just think how much misunderstanding President Putin could have avoided if he hadn't tried to explain when President Bush asked him last year why he'd suspended elections for Russia's governors.

Instead of giving a history lesson Putin should have replied, "We make elections again when Russia governors no longer make their own foreign policy and rig elections. This will be soon after I finish making examples of the worst cases."

And if Putin must explain, follow the advice that a Pundita reader offered last year: Keep to a metaphor that Americans can emotionally connect with; e.g., "Russia today is like Chicago in the 1930s."

Now, with regard to reporting on the G8 summit: Peter Lavelle left Moscow earlier this week for St. Petersburg but it seems his television commitment and other reporting duties are taking priority over his Untimely Thoughts blog. So you might have an easier time finding his G8 summit commentary and interviews by watching his TV show.

The show ("IMHO") airs every Sunday during the last 15 minutes of every 'even' hour. You can watch the show on the Web at russistoday.ru (click Watch RT now). The site is free.

Also, John Batchelor announced that Steve Cohen will guest next week to comment on US-Russia relations at the G8 meeting. This is a good place to mention that if you have not yet read Dr. Cohen's June 21 essay on Washington's undeclared cold war I urge you to read it, if only as a guide to the shark-infested undercurrents at the summit.

My only quibble with Cohen's observations is that he is another one who tries to explain. Granted, because he's a good professor he can break things down so even an idiot can understand. But after all these years of speaking God's Truth about Russia and not being heard by Washington and their lackeys in media, he should rethink. The problem is not so much political or even traced to greed for control of Russia's energy sector. The problem is epistemological.

For that reason Pundita stood and applauded the other night when Steve simply said to John Batchelor's audience: Russia is holding all the cards in this new cold war.

That's right. Russia is no longer jockeying with the US on NATO terms; they're cozy at home in their own turf, Central Asia. Germany won't hesitate to fold on this one. So Washington should act like smart big boss. Not play pair of twos against full house. Do the same two-faced thing we did with regard to China; first admit Russia to WTO then make stringent demands on Russia's government. Pass the soy sauce.