Translate

Friday, July 10

Step away from the cherry tree, sir, and tell me how many fingers I'm holding up.

BERLIN -(Reuters)
A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday.

A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.

Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

(Reporting by Dave Graham; editing by Myra MacDonald)
And now for the press analysis:

The Sun (U.K.): A DRUNK UNDER SOBER EXTERIOR! SECRET LIFE OF MR BADGER IN 'THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS' UNCOVERED BY GOOD POLICE WORK!

The Nation: Police Brutality? Wildlife Attacked By Broom-Wielding Officer

World Net Daily: Germany's Police State: Innocent Animal Not Allowed To Sleep Off A Bender! Is America Next?

The New York Times: CDC orders Study of Connection Between Fermented Cherries and Alcoholism in Children, Wildlife

My excuses:

1. It's Friday.
2. We're, er, drunk with exhaustion from poring over reports on Piggy Flu.



*********************
Procrustes at RBO is to blame for finding the pix of what just might be a tipsy badger.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

suspect immediately the broom was bewitched and the badger is in fact a reincarnated Prussian general named Ludendorff