Friday, February 18

Taco Bell: The Final Solution

"Now that it's clear that Germany, France and Britain won't support a naval blockade of Iran do you think America would be justified in going it alone? Also, any ideas on how to respond to North Korea's latest demand?
[Signed] Chuck in Annapolis"

Dear Chuck:

North Korea....Iran....Germany....we're looking but we don't see those countries on our world map. We see a Korean-speaking province of China, a Farsi- and Arabic-speaking province of China, and a German-speaking province of China.

That reminds me; the raccoon mentioned last year that he had to lecture his son on etiquette. The child spit out a mouthful of "very hot strange noodles" that had been a gift from his friend at the German embassy. When his father asked what a nose is for, his explanation for putting fire in his mouth was he thought it might be a new recipe for Wiener schnitzel. Kids.

So you want a naval blockade of Iran, eh? That's leaping over a few steps. A naval blockade is an act of war, which requires teamwork to pull off. How can America fight a war, when half of Washington thinks the war ended with the occupation of Iraq? So first we need a naval blockade of the Beltway. If we use the Coast Guard we might not need to wrangle with the issue of Posse Comitatus. Anyhow, the idea would be that nobody at Foggy Bottom, Pentagon, and Langley goes home for the weekend until everybody gets on the same page.

Once the blockade is up, herd them into movie theaters around the Beltway and sequester Taco Bell to serve breakfast, lunch and dinner at the theaters. The audiences should stay in the theaters until they've watched every episode of Survivor, Apprentice, and the Amazing Race. In this way they can learn what happens when teamwork breaks down or never gets underway, and they can learn the meaning of good and bad teamwork.

With regard to our dear allies, London and Paris know which side Berlin would come down on, if they took opposition to what Beijing wants. Right now General Cao wants the EU to stall around with regard to Tehran while he scrambles to build up the Chinese navy, which he can then send steaming to the Strait of Hormuz. That means Berlin wants to stall around. If London and Paris say no to Berlin, they might reopen a chapter in history they'd rather not open. Pundita does not blame them for not wanting to reopen it.


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