Tuesday, June 20

Moo Goo Gai Pan school of diplomacy

"Pundita! I think Vladimir Putin must be a Pundita reader because he followed your advice to hire a public relations firm to improve his image in West. That helped a little but the US media are still trying to make him look like another Stalin. Do you have any more advice for him (I mean Putin) as he heads for the G8 summit?
Sleepless in St. Louis”

Dear Sleepless:
If I recall the summit is only four weeks away so drastic action is required. Pundita would advise that President Putin hold a press conference for American reporters and answer questions in Chinese-style Pidgin English.

If he has trouble with the syntax he can spend an hour dialing Chinese take-out restaurants in New York City and trying to order in English five dishes that are not on the menu.

I warn this is not so much advice as dangerous knowledge. It explains how China’s government has been able to get away with murder for decades with no more than a few taps on the wrist from the American press and government.

Stop and think: have you and your co-workers ever ordered borscht to go while pulling an all-nighter?

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