Bre'r Joe Wilson and B'rer Jacques Chirac

"Trying to determine how much French foreign policy in Africa was affected by the French desire to obtain uranium is a difficult task. There was no recorded decision by the French leaders who formed the French African policy that can be related to uranium extraction rates. Instead the historical facts, rhetoric, and events and their outcomes must be investigated. By examining the history relating France to its former African colonies, one can only surmise how much French foreign policy was influenced by the uranium needs of the country. ..."
Section XI -- The French Desire for Uranium
by Nicholas Pederson
Program in Arms Control, Disarmament, and International Security
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, 2000

...Den Brer Fox sez to Brer Rabbit, sezee, "Who ax you fer ter come en strike up a quaintence wid dish yer tar-baby? En who stuck you up dar whar you iz? Nobody in de roun worril. You des tuck en jam yo'se'f on dat tar-baby widout waintin fer enny invite," sez Brer Fox, sezee.

"En dar you is, en dar you'll stay twel I fixes up a bresh-pile and fires her up, cuz I'm gwinteter bobbycue you dis day, sho," sez Brer Fox, sezee.

Den Brer Rabbit talk mighty humble: "I don't keer w'at you do wid me, Brer Fox," sezee, "Jes so's you don't fling me in dat briar-patch. Roast me, Brer Fox," sezee, "But don't fling me in dat briar-patch." ...

Well, I see Ambassador Joseph Wilson is threatening to sue Fox news analyst Major General Paul Vallely for libel and slander, and also sue World Net Daily for carrying a story about what Gen. Vallely told John Batchelor's radio audience about what Wilson told Vallely about Wilson's wife.

In brief, Vallely said that Wilson bragged to him in 2002 that his wife worked for the CIA, and Wilson is calling him a liar.

To orient yourself to how that latest salvo fits into the hideously complex Wilson-Plame Affair, which is part of Washington's epoch-making Beltway Wars, skip down to my Saturday entry highlighting John Batchelor's blog on the topic then skim the WND story linked above.

As to what any of this has to do with the "crazy report," as Ms. Plame reportedly termed it, which sent her hubby off to investigate whether Saddam was trying to purchase yellowcake from Niger --

Pundita has a theory: Mr Wilson and Ms Plame eventually figured out they were duped fair and square and Mr Wilson foolishly lost his temper about this. Wounded professional pride and all that; experienced ambassadors consider themselves nobody's fool.

See, the crazy report happened to be true. Now watch carefully don't blink: Because most of Niger's uranium mines and Niger itself are controlled by a French consortium, if you say that Niger's government negotiated with Saddam's about yellowcake -- that is as much saying America's NATO ally France broke any number of international agreements.

The problem for the Bush administration (and Tony Blair) was that catching France red-handed and stopping France were two different things.

Enter Dick Cheney and George Tenet, both on very good terms with President Bush, and who shared his determination to do something about the total lack of cooperation from Jacques Chirac's government.

To follow this next part it helps if you remember President Bush's daddy headed the CIA and that starting from his first day in office, Bush 43 actually read all the intelligence reports on his desk every morning.

Here we must draw a curtain but in due time Ambassador Wilson was told to see what he could dig up about the Niger yellowcake business. Right there he must have known something was screwy if he accepted the instructions at face value:

"Walk into a den of thieves and ask if they've heard about any bank robberies recently."

That's what Wilson's instructions boiled down to. So from the gitgo the CIA knew he would bring home nothing. And Wilson knew he would bring home nothing. If he had just left it at that, but he couldn't. That's because he was a flaming Liberal who couldn't stand the Bush administration and was very much against the Iraq invasion.

Thus, Wilson was provoked to dash off an op-ed piece for The New York Times after Bush quoted from a forged document to warn that Saddam had tried to purchase yellowcake from Niger.

A furor followed. And so it came to pass that the Bush administration then had no choice but to ask George Tenet to please declassify highly sensitive data. The data indicated that the Niger yellowcake information Bush quoted was correct, even though the particular source he quoted was bad.

Once the data were declassified and broadcast a very strange thing happened. Despite their criticism of the Iraq invasion, Chirac's government transformed into a veritable fountainhead of helpfulness in the US war on terror.

France gave (and continues to give) the US military big help in French regions of Africa -- fighting terrorists alongside US forces in Sahel and other places -- and tremendous help with interdictions of terrorist ships at sea. And, one might infer, they keep a closer watch on Niger's dealings with despots wanting to buy uranium.

But something went horribly wrong, as so often happens in war. Mr Wilson might have been philosophical about being used as a pawn but he drew the line at an attack on his wife. As to why anyone in the White House would go after his wife while the White House was basking in a huge wartime coup is beyond Pundita.

And it was a coup -- and a diplomatic success. There was no way Chirac's government could cry "Foul" about the release of that intelligence. Clearly, Bush had no choice given that he'd quoted from a forged document. (A forgery so poorly done, I might add, that a 12 year old with Internet access could see through it.)

How to put this delicately...everyone's ass on our side of the Pond was covered; the same for MI6, which if I recall handed the CIA the forged document that Bush quoted from. Nobody could be accused of making an effort to embarrass France's government.

Then why did some idiots in the White House go after Mrs Wilson? Mr Wilson could huff and puff all he wanted against the Iraq invasion; the declassified intelligence showed that indeed, there had been negotiations on the part of Saddam's government to purchase Niger yellowcake.

The only answer I can muster is that in war the best you can hope for is that you'll make fewer mistakes than the enemy. Yet going after Valerie Plame was a very costly mistake.

If you tell me that my theory is on the moon, Pundita will just continue to sit up here on the moon and let you stay down there on earth watching B'rer Wilson get revenge. At least my vantage point allows me to keep an eye on the French.

Speaking of which, it's really helpful toward understanding the French if you read through the intelligence report I linked to above. The sections are short and clearly written. You might want to go directly to Section II France and Nuclear Energy. Unless you're already an expert on the topic I bet your jaw will drop at least once while reading. And note they've been a lot smarter than the US about energy matters.

Is there any way, any way at all at this late stage, to head off the worst of Mr Wilson's ire? Well, one has to consider the skills of an ambassador who spent much of his career dealing with despots and crooks.

The negotiation skills one gains under such conditions are not terribly unlike those shown by Bre'r Rabbit in Tales of Uncle Remus, which are rooted in the trickster lore of West African folk tales.

One should also recall Joe Wilson's courage -- one might even say reckless courage. He sheltered more than 100 Americans at the US embassy in Baghdad when Saddam Hussein went after them, and he mocked Hussein's threats to execute anyone who refused to hand over foreigners. Those acts endeared him to President Bush's father.

So the Bush administration might want to consider the famous encounter between Bre'r Fox and Bre'r Rabbit and ponder deeply. A public apology to Valerie Plame might help even if they have to swallow hard to do it.

..."I ain't got no string," sez Brer Fox, sezee, "En now I speck I'll hatter drwon you," sezee.

"Drown me ez deep es you please, Brer Fox," sez Brer Rabbit, sezee, "but don't fling me in dat brier-patch," sezee.

"Dey ain't no water nigh," sez Brer Fox, sezee. "En now I speck I'll hatter skin you," sezee.

"Skin me, Brer Fox," sez Brer Rabbit, sezee, "snatch out my eyeballs, t'ar out my yeras by de roots, en cut off my legs," sezee, "but please, Brer Fox, don't fling me in dat briar-patch," sezee.

Co'se Brer Fox wnater hurt Brer Rabbit bad ez he kin, so he cotch 'im by de behime legs en slung im right in de middle er de briar-patch.

Dar wuz a considerbul flutter whar Brer Rabbit struck de bushes, en Brer Fox sorter hang roun fer ter see w'at wuz gwinter happen.

Bimeby he hear somebody call im, en way up de hill he see Brer Rabbit settin crosslegged on a chinkapin log koamin de pitch outen his har wid a chip.

Den Brer Fox know dat he bin swop off mighty bad.

Brer Rabbit wuz bleedzed fer ter fling back some er Brer Fox's sass, so he holler out: "I wuz bred en bawn in a briar-patch, Brer Fox -- bred en bawn in a briar-patch!"

En wid dat he skip out des ez lively as a cricket in de embers.

How Mr Rabbit was too sharp for Mr Fox from Tales of Uncle Remus (published 1881) by Joel Chandler Harris.