Friday, July 25

Barack Obama's plan to save the world: there will be folk dancing and ethnic food

Obama's July 24 Berlin speech, the original version.

The translated version:

Citizens of Germany, I stand before you not as an American politician or even as an American but as a dual citizen: a citizen of the United States of America and the world.

Citizens of Germany, this is our moment. This is the moment when we must defeat terror and dry up the well of extremism that supports it, renew the goal of a world without nuclear weapons, make Europeans safer and happier, redistribute the wealth that globalization has created, answer the call for a new dawn in the Middle East, and save this planet.

As to how I envision America's part in meeting those awesome goals, Germans first need to understand how I get things done before they can grasp the simplicity of my plan.

It is a scurrilous lie started by my political enemies that my roadmap to the White House was inspired by the Ponzi scheme.

On the contrary, at every stage of my political career, I have persuaded the powerful that if they promote me to a greater level of power I can solve whatever problems they find vexing.

As to the poverty, corruption, and government waste I always leave in my wake, this is due to the small amount of power I was given at those earlier stages of my climb.

To boil it down, don't expect my tenure as an American President to solve the world's problems unless you figure a way to make me chief of the world.

In the meantime I expect you to learn to make great sacrifices. And to acknowledge that the best way to defend human rights is to respect the primary human right, which is to be treated with understanding no matter how stupid, backward, or anti-democratic your actions and ideas.

Unless all ideologies are treated with equal respect, we cannot hope to accomplish the dream of peace in our time.

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