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Sunday, September 29

Breakfast at Tiffany's (Updated)

Earlier this year, after I mentioned the ghost that prowls the Federal Reserve building in Washington after midnight, Sleepless in St. Louis asked if I'd known this by contacting the ghost through my famous Ouija board. No, and I'm afraid my relationship with the Spirit World has not been too good in recent years.

There was the time I was trying to investigate the Burned Korans Incident at Bagram Airfield on account of an unnamed NATO official had insisted to the Associated Press, at the conclusion of an official inquiry, that no Korans were burned.  While pursuing a line of speculation I asked Ouija to tell me the temperature and amount of snow on the ground at Bagram on the date of the alleged Koran burning.

My spirit contact, a dipsomaniac Prussian general, replied with the number of frostbite victims in Napoleon's army at the Russian Front.

From this I gathered the Spirit World doesn't appreciate being used as an intelligence asset. Then there was the unfortunate business with Charlotte. It turns out that a rule for getting along with the Spirit World is never leave a possum alone with an Ouija board.

"I was just trying to contact my departed mother." More like her departed bookie. But then I never told you about the dark side of the possum member of my foreign policy team. As to what a possum can possibly do with unorthodox gambling proceeds -- I have no idea, unless a possum inveigles a softhearted human to hire a limousine to drive her to Tiffany's in Chevy Chase.

As soon as they see the limo: Quick, get the velvet pillow and the donut!

They stock up every morning on her favorite, Krispy Kreme lemon donuts, just in case she decides that today is the day she'll have breakfast at Tiffany's.

Awright, Pundita. Stop it. Just stop it. Back to work. Oh but wait, I see I've run out the clock on researching banking regulation issues, at least for one day.  What a shame. 


Charlotte was a bit put out with me after she read that I'd termed her gambling "illegal" in the first version of this post.  (If you've never heard of a possum who can read, well you're hearing of one now. How else could she work an Ouija board?  She told me her wagers were "unorthodox."  You know where she got that from, right?  Of course, from reading that IMF chief Christine Lagarde had termed Ben Bernanke's massive quantitative easing program "unorthodox" monetary policy.  [sighing]

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