Superstorm Sandy Survivor
At last count I have eight half-finished essays piled up but it's come to my attention that some Muslims terrorists have said that Superstorm Sandy was Allah's retribution for an anti-Mohammad movie trailer. So I''m going to take a few moments to reply.
The United States of America covers much of a vast continent, and this is not including Hawaii and Alaska. We have so many different climates and weather systems that we've been visited by every natural disaster you can think of, and so many times that nobody bothers to keep count anymore.
And you know what all that adversity has done to Americans? It's made us a very strong people. Here in America we don't run away from disaster, we run toward it: to save, to help, to rescue, to rebuild.
And what about you? All you do is whine, whine, whine. And if you can't get your way from whining you'll blow yourselves up and take out as many people with you as you can. What a standard of masculinity.
You're weak, inside. That's from too many generations of you expecting Allah to act as your slave. Well I have news for you. Allah doesn't like being treated like a slave -- or a coolie or servant. And He's taken to wearing ear plugs so He doesn't have to listen to your constant whining.
Why don't you try something new for a change? Make yourselves useful. I know this is a novel concept but once you get the general idea it gets easier to fathom as you go along. So look around you, then roll up your sleeves and get busy doing simple stuff, like helping villagers in your neighborhood dig wells and plant crops.
That, instead of scheming and plotting how you can establish a global kingdom in the name of Allah -- a kingdom in which slaves do all the work for you. While you sit around and write poetry and yammer about your ideas of God.
Here's an idea about God for you: Do you think Allah is a chump? Do you think God wants slavery in His name? So not only are you weak and lazy, you're also phonies.
Your problem is that you don't actually believe in God. You believe in jinn. That's your real idea of Allah: whine and bang your forehead on the floor a thousand times, and Allah the Great Genie will do your bidding.
Your other problem is that more you act like mentally-challenged small children, the more you're treated as such. The upshot is that nobody will tell you what Pundita has just told you. Everyone tiptoes around you and says, 'Don't offend the Muslims.'
This means you've become like the emperor in the parable of the Emperor's New Clothes. The emperor was very absent-minded. But because he was the emperor none of his subjects wanted to tell him that he'd forgotten to dress one morning. So everyone pointed at the naked fool and said, 'What fine clothes you're wearing today, Your Magnificence!'
Now where was I? The United States, twenty-first century, by one reckoning of time. To finish up:
Foreigners shouldn't be misled by images of weeping Americans telling the television camera, 'Oh woe is us, what do we do now?' The BBC and CNN International lap up those images; they love to see
Americans looking helpless after a disaster.
Many of those Americans who speak to reporters are in physical shock -- they're interviewed directly in the aftermath of losing their homes, or after sitting out in the elements for hours waiting to be rescued from a rooftop, or wherever. What the television cameras don't show so much is the thousands of survivors who say, 'Now we rebuild.'
Foreigners should also not mistake the large American capacity for self-criticism for our defining national characteristic. Yes, we're always finding fault with ourselves. But our defining characteristic is fortitude; what we call in the USA "true grit."