Friday, October 28
The week that the Forces of the Universe returned from lunch
The Chinese suddenly melted away from Scarborough Shoal, and just like that Filipino fishermen were able, after four years, to return to their fishing haunts in the area. It turned out that Duterte's about-face with the American government saved Chinese face, allowing Xi to pull back from Scarborough Shoal.
And just like that, the crisis in the South China Sea, which could have led to an American war with China that pulled in several countries, was staved off.
The U.S. government somehow provided evidence to the Russians that they'd finally embarked on serious efforts to separate 'moderate' rebel groups in Aleppo from terrorist ones, prompting Putin to order a delay of bombing in East Aleppo.
And just like that, an international crisis that was careening toward war between the U.S. and Russia was staved off.
In a stunning triumph for justice and the principles on which America was founded, a jury acquitted Ammon Bundy and his co-defendants of all charges, even those supported by hard evidence, after Bundy detailed for the jury the principles that prompted his armed stand against the U.S. federal government.
And just like that, the crumbling faith of millions of Americans in their fellow citizens was shored.
Through a coincidence, the Federal Bureau of Investigation obtained evidence that prompted them to re-open their investigation into Hillary Clinton's unauthorized use of a private email server while she was Secretary of State. The details of what was a genuine coincidence are such an incredible example of poetic justice as to be eerie.
And just like that, the blindfolded woman who holds the scales of justice stepped into American politics.
Always remember to tell yourself that you'll give up hope when you're dead. Now I proceed to write that advice on the back of my own hand.